Session 0
"It's like fish eggs. It's like that. A whole fish amount." - Gunny
Session 1
"Let's not count our strange demon things before they've hatched." - Gunny
"I have Melee so I can be a disappointment to my parents." - Kai/Astrid
"They're the kind of jokes made by someone who is a constant disappointment." - Kai, regarding Tamara
Session 2
"Everyone knows most artifacts come from thrift stores." - Kai
"So the question is if he's just being koi?" - Mathew
Session 3
"Do you know about magic?" - Tamara
"Like magic tricks?" - Naomi
"No, like real wizard shit." - Tamara
"I don't actually teach any classes - I'm a horse." - The Redmond High Mustang
“Oh, and if there’s oxygen.” - Astrid
“You had such promise, and now you’re a hippie.” - GM
Session 4
"I misheard 'aura reading' and 'R rating.'" - Kai
"Oh god I just realized that I/Hugo might own some JNCOs." - Carrie
"So are we following the pipe?" - Jeremy
"Isn't that what you've been doing your whole life"? - Carrie
Session 5
"You may notice your body is going through some changes" - Kai, regarding instructions to potential Garou
"Did you just say 'GarUwU'." - Carrie
"I would like to do a bit of reconstructive spelunking to get out of here." - Carrie
"I got three successes to communicate with Weird Owl Yankovic
"No, I'm going to share joy for a price." - Mathew
Session 6
"I speak Mercer Island." - Tamara
(Tamara, having an asthma attack.)
"I need my inhaler. Or a cigarette." - Tamara
"No me gusta ... no te gusta?" - Jeremy
"Don't eat me?" - Dawn
"Do you ever get so drunk that you don't feel connected to your body?" - Some woman
"Only every day." - Tamara
"Something something 'blaze that quintessence' something." - Carrie
Session 7
"We're gonna do this anyway, so you can help or..." - Kelsey
"Where are we going to get that much thermite?" - Hugo
"I'm not talking about explosives." - Astrid
"Oh, no, this is a melting operation." - Hugo
"Would it help if the bus was actually stolen?" - Franky
"It's a spicy bus." - Carrie
"I was put on this Earth to keep Tamara from fucking vampires." - Kai
"You're in Poodle Town." - Kai
"I'm in Poodle Town." - Carrie
"There aren't a ton of people out and about, but there are probably more than should be when a giant poodle is on the loose." - Dawn
"We have two teams. Team Magic Brain Scan, and Team Axe." - Dawn
"I want him to know that I know how to skin a human being." - Kai
“Because people here have been project managers and you know how hard it is to keep a conspiracy.” - GM
“We aren’t using quarters, we have Hugo.” - Frankie
After seeing a 5-story tall pink poodle.
“Is that normal out here? I don’t think that’s normal out here.” - Hugo
“I don’t think so? I don’t think so.” - Gunny
“You just lump them together. You three are Jesus, you three are the Holy Ghost. It’s their government issued fursonas.” - Gunny explaining how to convert Norse prayers to Christian prayers
Session 8
"Be not afraid." - Everyone
"We're going to open the door but keep in mind I know where all your bones are." - Astrid
"Awoooo/Vampires of Yak'ma" - Carrie
Session 9
"I could make a sinkhole." - Carrie
"Like, collapse the road?" - Jeremy
"Creative spelunking!" - Kelsey
"I go into the horse trailer and I stab anything that isn't a Disney princess or my mom." - Frankie
Session 10
"Oops, all poison." - Kelsey and Kai
“Do we kidnap the King of France and perform dark rituals on him?” - Tamara
“Maybe the better option is to find locals?” - Tamara
“Hot new Tremere in your area.” - Carrie
“So what do we want out of les poisson?” - Tamara, referring to La Voisin
“Or, I could do drugs about it.” - Kai, imitating Tamara
Session 11
"Tamara, are you too 'magical' to drive today?" - Hugo
"The best deer carcasses are way off the beaten path." - Kai
"He's cottage-core. Super cottage-core. But bone-cottage-core. I don't know if that's a thing, but is now because I made it up." - Dawn
"New information: I don't think I'm dead." - Seamus
Session 12
“That term hasn’t even been invented yet, but okay.” - Tamara
"Is it kosher?" - Astrid
"I thought Catholics were halal." - Tamara
“I’m pretty sure the Blood of Christ is not Halal.” - GM
“I’m not a Christian at all.” - Astrid
“Oh, you poor thing. Can I pray for you?” - Tamara
“I will kick you in the cooch.” - Astrid
“Twilight is a better romance than Lolita.” - Jeremy
“I mean, maybe they have the family plot in the upstairs bedroom.” - GM
“No. That’s not legal.” - Kai
“Right, the conversation the whole way home from Bellingham about lapdances and souls.” - GM
Session 13
“We have a 420 in progress on 69th avenue… it’s really going down…” - Kai as Tamara into a police walkie talkie
Session 14
"Oh, fuck those fucking fuckers." - Astrid, regarding the hunters
"She's on medication sometimes..." - Gunny, regarding Tamara's weirdness
Session 15
"This is not a trip I am letting you take!" - Hugo to Tamara, refusing to let her lick the science.
"Anti-Magic Murder Robot" - Carrie, singing
"From the people who brought you Goldfish." - Dawn
"It's 10 am tomorrow ..." - marina staff guy
"It's pronounced Tamara." - Tamara
"I think you should call him tomorrow." - Astrid
"It's pronounced Tamara." - GM
(That's what we call a callback, kids!)
Session 16
"There is a part of Tamara that wants to climb him like a monkey." - Jeremy
"I know what you're thinking and so does Jesus." - Kelsey, regarding Astrid hearing Tamara's thoughts
Session 17
King of Madness: Are you more actors for my play?
Gunny: More like cavalry.
King: I did not cast cavalry.
Gunny: How about OSHA?
King: What is OSHA?
Tamara: An... acronym?
Session 18
"There's there's the Fuckers List and there's the Fuckers List, depending on whether it's Tamara's or not." - Kai
Session 19
"Finally being an orphan has paid off." - Astrid
"I'm not usually on this end of things. I'm more of a psychic top. That came out wrong." - Tamara
Session 20
Astrid: We're going to have to search the whole bridge. It's a big bridge.
Tamara: I've had bigger.
Astrid: I thoroughly regret this mental link.
Session 21
"What if Tamara goes unconscious? Or lost at sea?" - Kai, prophetically
"Tamara is kinda high functioning." - Kai
"Bah-dum-tish." - Kelsey
"Maybe take half as many drugs?" - Gunny, after Tamara is told by a ghost to take better care of herself
Session 22
"I feel like if I say no, I've going to find out about the shenanigans on the news." - Astrid
Session 23
"It's like the Taco Bell of sex. It's easy, it's there, it's enjoyable at the time but you may regret it." - Kai
"Then what is the combination Taco Bell/Pizza Hut?" - Carrie
"It's a light novel title: Help, I Created a Ghost Bordello." - Carrie
"Am I An Asshole for Making a Ghost Bordello." - Kai
"It's a scarem anime." - Carrie
"It's a boodello." - Jeremy
Session 24
"The odds are high ..." - Astrid
"And the highs are odd?" - Tamara
"We could stall." - Tamara
"You're good at that." - Astrid
"Oh, so you don't have to have a C-T-H in your name to be a cthonic deity?" - Tamara
"NO! The Lady of the Woods doesn't have a C-T-H in her name." - Vincent, the Marauder
"What about her true name? It could be like Cthuga or Ctharen." - Tamara
(Tamara asking Astrid to review a "dick pic" she drew, which is actually a note about whether the Akashic Brotherhood can jump the marauder.)
"It's well within normal parameters." - Astrid
"I pull out some pocket fries." - Carrie
"I heard something about a THAC0." - Kai, as Tamara
"It's well within normal parameters." - Astrid, trying to speak in code about a fake penis picture
"Snooping around someone's home is what every good guest does." - Astrid
"I mean, if you're not going through someone's dirty underwear why are you even there?" - Tamara
"Is that why my underwear drawer is always open?" - Astrid
"No, those are clean." - Tamara
Session 25
"Is someone, like, mad at us?" - Tamara
"The price of the Wyrm these days is Skincare Routine." - Kai
(RE: Lord Z being attacked.)
Hugo: "He might be an asshole, but he's OUR - ... well, your asshole."
Astrid: "Thanks...?"
Tamara: "He's our asshole by association."
Gunny: "He's our asshole in law!"
"It's a human centipede but a closed loop." - Kai explaining Astrid using Entropy to turn Ruby's Entropy in on itself.
(After Lord Z, rescued, gives us a brief thanks before fucking off)
Tamara: "... he's kinda hot."
Astrid: [THE DEEPEST SIGH AND THOUSAND YARD STARE OF DISAPPOINTMENT] "... No. No, no no no."
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